I found this post dated 12-06-08 in another journal.

“It’s been a while since the last entry. The anger has subsided and what that still lingers on is just a tiny bit of disappointment. While good things have come in many forms over the past few weeks, I’m staying happy for the better. Final exams went well and I’m graduating with a 2nd lower honors class. Convocation ceremony will be on 25th July. I’m thankful that these fleeting moments of bliss have helped me tide over the bad break.

There are many things in life that I’ve planned but didn’t come through. But I’ve learnt that everyone will get their chance in life. The timing might not be right for me to go on a graduation trip but I’m not losing sight of that trip yet. Cos i believe my turn will come soon. I might leave university with a tad a broken heart but the memories of friends and school are more than suffice to remind me of my good days there. Looking back, thinking back, I’m missing on a lot of things. The freedom of youth that comes with it. My hostel days, running/gym sessions, supper, lab sessions, fyp, lunch with peeps, the exam stress, the crazy assignments. It was all worthwhile that I’ve pulled through 4 years.

Now that I’m starting the new phase in life soon, I can’t help to feel anxious and worried of what’s out there waiting for me in the working world. While the perks of monetary income may be tempting at first, the responsibilities as a working adult will soon weigh me down. But I’m positive that time and tide will settle down this uneasy feeling. I will give my best shot at my new job so that I can secure a perm position next year after the contract ends. Hopefully

Lately, I’ve been having random dreams bout many people. And it seems that I’ve been dreaming about Guy A once in a while. It’s just bit of pieces of conversations and those fleeting moments that I actually recall like a tape recorder. It’s funny how I can vividly remember the physical aspects of him. And sometimes, I can float into a dreamy state, and random memories with Guy B will seep through the mind. Those moments kinda leave a warm glowing feeling in the heart for a while but leaks out with a bitter aftertaste. And it’s this aftertaste that hurts the most.

Time after time, we try to make things better the next time round and promised not to get trapped by the same old lies. But, somehow the addiction to pain and love all entangled into one get us into the same game all over. It’s like we’re tied to it till we find the one meant for us. Or the least break out of the habit. I guess it’s time to break this horrible habit. Cos I personally don’t find it entertaining to continue playing mind games and getting trapped in all sorts of emotional mess. It’s just too tiring. I would rather ride my own wave then to have someone onboard mine and cause more turbulence.

Well, so much to say. I shall end it here…

it’ll all get better in time…have faith “

I think this entry was written in the perfect tone that my emotions were truly flowing at that time. Fast forward, almost 3 months later, life did get better in time. At least, that aching feeling has long dissolved with time and I can look back and laugh at my sillyness My memory has become so random that it only exists for the day. Don’t ask me what I did yesterday or when was my last movie (it might be just 2 days ago), cos I simply don’t remember. I kinda like it tat way cos I feel like I’m living for the moment. It doesn’t matter what happens in the past, it won’t affect the present or the future. Short term memory, you might say..But i’m totally loving it =)